Monthly Archives: February 2013
Your body is a wonderful looking glass of truth. When you are out of sync with yourself, you often try to ignore it. Eventually, ignore it too long and it shines through as being overweight; having uncut hair or a hanging shirt; a stain on your pants or missing buttons; unfitness or lack of sleep; anxiety attacks, disorganisation, drinking etc. Is your current image or body aliments telling you something about your situation or current choices that you are desperately trying to ignore? Don’t.
Another source to reflect that you are out of sync is your WhatsApp status, or your downloaded ringtone? It’s can be such a beautiful clue. When Angelo went through a very tough time his ring tone was the song from Papa Roach, Last resort (http://youtu.be/QhJ6bE4z5vs), which starts “Cut my life into pieces…”. It was exactly how he felt. I noticed his ringtone was changed after things got better. Susan had saved her WhatsApp status as “Always quick and busy”. What is absolutely true is that she really needed to slow down.
Sometimes it’s more concrete. Three years ago my teenage daughter, struggling through cross-cultural transition, decided to paint her room red. It seemed to me that the anger and anxiety she was working through was literally written on the walls. When the walls turned to happy, growing, peaceful green, I was pretty relieved. In fact I volunteered to help her paint! I worked with a colleague one time that bought a little abandoned synagogue in a run down area and turned it into her house. It really wasn’t a very practical choice but it was saying something important. She had come from an abusive childhood and had to work through it. I think she was trying to find hope through that synagogue in the slum.
Essentially, when we are out of sync, it shows more than we might think. The image we project, the state of our health, and the unconscious choices we make everyday can be tell tale.
To Start Syncing…
Get out. Take time out to be alone and do nothing with your head – because it works. You know this. Clarity comes when busyness has left the building. By resting your mind, the energy you have (left) re-energises your system. You refuel. You meet up with yourself because there is no one and nothing to distract or block you. Otherwise, call on a trusted friend, mentor or coach.
To sum up
- Get honest with yourself – what’s working, what’s not, what’s your contribution to that
- Listen to your heart to discover who you are and what it is you really want
- Accept and respect yourself for being an unique human
- Sync “what you do” with “who you are”
- Take the responsibility to own and act on you inner judgement
- Step up courage and make changes
You will get back in sync with yourself when you begin to hear what you need and want, what you should do. And why. Only then can your courage sprout fat, juicy roots and grow again.
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Part 2: The Benefits of Listening to Yourself, The Costs, if you Don’t https://synquity.wordpress.com/2013/02/22/the-benefits-of-listening-to-yourself-the-costs-if-you
Part1: Listen to Yourself for a Change https://synquity.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/listen-to-yourself-for-a-change/
The source of your inner judgement and wisdom may include your well-fed IQ, your faith, or your past experiences. Whatever the source, the fact is that you have wisdom to tap in to by listening to yourself, and it will benefit you because;
- Listening to yourself often simplifies a situation. Your choices become clearer because you are in touch with who you are.
- Acceptance of and respect for yourself grows as a result, and as you begin to figure out what is right for you, so your life takes on a deeper meaning.
- It causes you to act. Listening is a verb. If your kids don’t do what you asked of them, you first think they were not listening. Listening is connected to you taking action.
- If you really listen to yourself, you take responsibility for what you know you need to attend to. You act, as opposed to waiting for someone to tell you what to do, or relying on a crisis or illness as an excuse or way out.
- Listening to yourself gives you all the bounding energy and conviction to act. It is fundamental to your motivation and energy being released.
The Cost of Not Listening to Yourself
It takes a lot of courage to ferret out the reasons you so often ignore your inner voice, but, to tune into your inner judgement frees up a lot of personal energy and allows you to refocus on the path your life is taking. When you don’t listen to yourself, all your actions and inaction will be moving you in the wrong direction. And your heart knows it. Your energy is soaked up trying to live in one world whilst your heart is yearning for another. If this state of perpetually ignoring yourself continues for too long, you will find your inner judgment becoming harder to discern. And as you split off from what is right for you, so your self-deception grows. And all this is at the expense of valuable energy. You become stressed, unhealthy, loose your judgment and you compromise on your performance and thus on the impact you are able to make.
Listening to yourself for a change helps to keep you congruent, effective, and healthy. Please listen and attend to what gets you out of sync with yourself. Then click your heels and act boldly. But keep those inner ears forever tuned.
By Madeleine van der Steege
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Being honest with yourself. That takes courage. But it runs deeper than simply acknowledging that I need help or rest, or, I’m good at that; that makes me happy; that needs to change, because there is another layer to listening to yourself.
Even though we often demonstrate good insights into our own situations – with more than just an inkling of what to do – we fail, sometimes, to apply our own good counsel to our own lives. There is the well-known example of a bride walking down the aisle, while in her mind she knows it is not going to work. Thus, the marriage begins with a foundation of unspoken truths and when the marriage breaks up some time later, she recalls that truth: “I knew when I walked down the aisle it was doomed to fail.” Why don’t we listen to ourselves?
You can’t listen to and reject yourself at the same time. Listening to yourself requires self acceptance. Knowing or suspecting, for example, that you no longer belong in a certain company or job is not about the company at all. It’s about you. Who you are. What you believe, want, need and why. All of your complexity and potential is bundled up together. So avoid blaming “the company” or “them”, the workload or your perceived failings. Instead, listen to your heart to discover who you are and what it is you really want. Then stand up for it.
Sometimes the warning signs for change have been there for years but you ignore them because you are striving at all cost to fit the mould of “success”, or meet expectations of others and gain approval. Put together the multitude of clues in your life, about who you really are, that you have left dangling about. Your inner whispering, the choices you have made (or have avoided) or even the physical state you are in are great personal clues.
Think about the people you listen to. You respect them and that’s why they have influence over your choices and actions. By the same token you have to respect and accept yourself to be able to listen to yourself. You are an incredible being, human, and inherently filled with hope. You possess an unending, unique capacity to create, re-invent and transform. Yes, you make mistakes and even destroy; your past has possibly much to be desired, but acknowledge that you have great capacity for good and fruitful action. Accepting that you are only human as opposed to faultless, enables you to listen to yourself and enjoy the benefit.
By Madeleine van der Steege
Coming up next…The Cost of Not Listening to Yourself
It takes a lot of courage to ferret out the reasons you so often ignore your inner voice, but, to tune into your inner judgement and face the truth about your hand in your own situation frees up a lot of personal energy and allows you to refocus on the path your life is taking. But when you don’t listen to yourself all your actions and inaction will be moving you in the wrong direction. And your heart knows it. Your energy…..
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